Baby, dance with me

When I was a little fish (18-24 years old) I loved clubbing and usually went out four nights a week! Dancing on top of podiums, or taking over the dance floor and belting out tunes. This was the sound track to my life and when I hear these songs played now, it takes me back to where I was that year, including what I was wearing.

In honour of NOT going to my 20th high school reunion this weekend, here’s five favourite dance songs from the naughty noughties:

2000– Can’t stop the Moonlight– Leanne Rhymes

I went on many a night club tour and danced on the bar like Coyote Ugly. That year all my clothes (and hopefully that of the time) was inspired by these girls. Fake leather pants and tiny tops. I also had a fake leather top and leopard print skirt that was a winner. Red pants and a tiny lace top. Damn, I wish I could pull that off now! Couldn’t even pull it on now.

2001– Dance with me –112

Singing at the top of my lungs “choc tops in the parking lot.” Turns out he was waiting in his convertible. Well I think choc tops is much more realistic.

I see you looking at me
I can tell by your eyes that your feeling me
And I really want you to get close to me
So won’t you dance with me… Dance with me
My drop tops in the parking lot
And I wanna take you back to my spot
But we still got a little more time to rock
So won’t you dance with me… Dance with me!

1999–2004 – Be Faithful– Fatman Scoop

If you go anywhere that’s playing hip hop, they will play this song! I’ve been dancing to it for over 14 years now. I would have danced to it every Thursday night 2000-2003 when I hadn’t started my professional career yet. You knew you were guaranteed to hear this one during the night and they often played ‘I’ve had the time of my life’ (Dirty Dancing) to wind down the night at 3:30am.

Fatman Scoop is so widely played that Australia’s new Prime Minister made reference to it only 3 weeks into his job, getting himself in hot water over the lyrics. He must have been trying hard to get a laugh as we didn’t vote him in.

Of course I liked this song, singing and making up awesome dance moves. Everyone loves a good audience participation opportunity.

Single ladies! I can’t hear ya! (Cupping my hand to my ear)
Single ladies! Make noise! (Miming a megaphone with my hands)

All the chickenheads, be quiet! (bobble head)

All the good lookin’ women sing along… (bump and grind)

If you’ve got long hair, put your hands up! (shake your hair, bobble head, hands up, bump and grind)

2002- Dirty- Christina Aguilera

Well this is a fan fave of everyone’s. When I was out with male friends they said they love this song too because when it comes on, all the girls turn slutty. The song didn’t do so well on the radio but I’m sure the film clip was well watched as she danced and ‘fought’ in the tiniest of bikinis in a fighting ring. We burned up the dance floor gyrating along as well. I loved her album ‘Stripped’ with both the CD and DVD regularly played, inspiring me with songs- Fighter, Beautiful, Underappreciated and The Voice Within. I died my hair black and wore it long, curly and messy.

2008 – Low- Flo Rida and T Pain

Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur. The whole club was looking at her

Apparently this is the look that T Pain likes….. well boots with the fur in Australia has to be uggboots! No wonder the whole club was looking. You might get away with going down to the shops in your Uggs but not a club. But then she hits the floor and is so low and such an amazing dancer that no one cares. I always thought I was singing the wrong lyrics with ‘apple bottom’ but turns out I wasn’t! We then sing ‘Baggy sweat pants, Reboks with the straps’…. well this is the look that Flo Rida likes. No wonder I thought Uggboots on the dance floor was acceptable in this song.

As an Elder Millenial, I didn’t have a digital camera or smart phone during this time. If there’s no photos on social media, did it even happen? Yes, it did! For my 20th birthday night club tour, the host took photos and sent me printed photos a week later.

Whales communicate in song and the just like them, I feel strongly about having music in my life. It’s so powerful. It can lift you up or help you chill out. Luckily I’m surrounded by amazing people at work that love to sing and my sister will have a good sing along too. Enjoy some fun music this weekend and get jiggy with it (Thanks Will Smith)!

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Chalk and cheese

I had two dates last weekend!!!! Go me! They were as different as chalk and cheese- what a strange expression. I thought the same as http://www.phrases.org.uk “There must be many pairs of things that are more different than chalk and cheese.” They claim it’s popularity is as simple as they are short and snappy words that alliterate. I’m going to work on coming up with another one.

Mr Suave was from an online dating app, the other was a ‘blind date’ (of course we checked each other out on Facebook first) set up by friends. Where Suave was tall, the other was short. Suave had dark hair, the other was greying. Suave had beers with me, the other coffee. Suave went halvies on the costs, the other let me pay. Suave lives within a reasonable distance, and the other is an hours drive away. Okay, it’s clear who I’m leaning towards.

At school, we teach the kids to identify similarities and differences, and usually make them put it in a Venn diagram! It’s also a reading strategy to compare and contrast which allows them to understand the book better and make real life connections. So what did these guys have in common that made them a good match for me?

They were similar in that neither of them owned a pet but agreed dogs were better. They both had their own home (whether rented or owned, we didn’t go into it) and had good jobs. Stable work that they somewhat enjoy, most days. Interestingly, I didn’t go into their family situations and neither did they. I think that’s a sign that we didn’t need the small talk about who has siblings and what age they are. Both were able to hold their own, and conversation flowed along the standard path of ask a question, respond yourself with a story, ask another……

Both were respectful- they didn’t try to touch me up or talk dirty!

But Mr Suave had it all.

He dressed well for the date and looked great in a floral (I don’t care what you think, I’m man enough to pull this off as fun and happy) shirt and nice shoes. As we sat down with our beers, I asked a bustling table and group standing if they minded us sitting down next to them. He handled it cool, calm and collected when a very drunk guy leaned in and told us with a slur and a wobble that you should just take things and not ask as he might have said no. We talked and laughed our way merrily into a second drink and then agreed to a third at a different bar he wanted to check out over the road. The third beer then turned into an espresso martini that he ordered for me as I had said I love them. We made our way over to a comfy couch and moved closer as it had got colder. Then it starts to become a blur…. We leaned in for a kiss and he suggested….. dancing! So off we went, walking hand in hand down the street and when I complained about walking in my heels, he ordered a taxi the rest of the way apologising to the driver “Sorry man, I know it’s a short trip. I’ll pay you extra.”

At the club, he paid for both of our entry costs ($20 each) and put our jackets together in the cloak room. He bought me a coke as I said I’d really had enough and we danced and made out for the next hour or so. He laughed at me as I danced to The Nutbush (OMG, I can’t believe I did that on a date!) and I laughed at him as we both enjoyed S Club 7. When I went to the toilets and realised how messy I’d become, I told him I had to call it a night and he put me in a cab home. We text all the next day… and lived happily ever after. Ha ha. No, we’ll see………

Photo by Gabriel Augusto on Pexels.com

I didn’t put my best foot forward when I met my coffee date. I had drank too much with Mr Suave so I was still a bit tired and shaky. I’m not a morning person so I had dry shampooed my hair and I didn’t feel as banging as I had last night. Because of the alcohol, I also had a (diabetic) hypo during the date and whilst I tried to hide it, my speech wasn’t coming out the same and I couldn’t think of the right words. I might have got away with it as nervous and cute… but I probably also seemed like a downright drip! This date lasted an hour.

Chalk and Cheese.

I really like cheese- Mr Suave has to be the cheese!

Murder on the dance floor

A day in the life of a single girl.

I dragged myself out of bed on Saturday morning to prepare for Oktoberfest at the Royal Exhibition building, Carlton. The words Oktoberfest and classy don’t go together at all but I thought the venue may mean a less rambunctious affair (such as St Kilda gardens or Birrarung Marr park where a friend climbed up a speaker pole to see the DJ better and ended up in hospital!). 

Usually Oktoberfest in Melbourne means a lot of girls in short skirts and very low, voluptuous tops and unfortunately we all look the same (thanks eBay). Last year, I spotted at least 20 girls wearing the same outfit as I was. So whilst the beer is flowing, the boys are a plenty, so are the girls and the chances of standing out are slim to none in his environment. It’s just a great day to hang out with friends and have a laugh.

The Royal Exhibitian building was set up like a huge beer hall with trestle tables packed with laughing friends and piled high with the remnants of all the drinks of the day. For this occasion, you had to choose the day function (12-5pm) or the night function (6-11pm) and I found myself at the day session. By 3pm, everyone was very loose!

Girls were dared to try to jump up on wooden crates that were piled higher than their legs whilst the men stood by watching and cheering on. The band was playing covers and anytime an Aussie classic came on, people stood up on the tables and bench seats, screaming the lyrics at the top of their lungs.

You’re the voice, try and understand it. Make a noise and make it clear. Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa (John Farnham)

Of course, the bench seats broke! They were carried out by security (the benches not the drunk people) to hundreds of people clapping and cheering.

By 4pm, most people were on the dance floor. “Grown ups” that had spent their hard earned money, carefully trying to throw basketballs and shoot ducks to win soft toys, then carried them onto the dance floor. How cute.

The soft toys were then held up high above their heads where they proceeded to rip their guts out! I looked over at one point and thought someone was blowing bubbles to dance under, then I realised it looked like polystyrene balls and I made the connection.

When one saw it, then the others started doing it. No stuffed animal was safe unless you were clinging to it, off the dance floor. I probably should have been laughing. As a primary teacher, I just thought of the waste! And as a drunk person, I was picking up soft toy body parts and holding an abondoned leg up here and there asking boys…

Is this your leg? Did you lose a leg? Do you think this (soaking wet) foot is lucky?

The boys reached out their hands to twirl me around. Not one twirl, repetitive twirls. Not one boy, three boys were trying to twirl me. Why would I want to be twirled whilst drinking beer? But okay, I’ll give this a go and try and make conversation. What a waste of time.

One boy that was prepared to make conversation was also very handsy but he seemed nice enough. Every time I thought ‘he might be fun’ in a non creepy way (again, compared to others. For example, one guy was walking around with a small sign that said ‘will you have sex with me?’) he then put the same moves on my best friend. So he kept going back and forth with my taken friend trying to re-direct him back to me. We made plans for an after party but ended up walking out together when it was over. I had asked him if he wanted to put my phone number in his phone but thought he mustn’t have heard me. He stayed with me for while and I thought he had made his choice when he went back over to my friend. Together, we had to spell it out to him.

“You can’t have both of us. You have to choose one girl and stick with her and make her feel special. (To which he groaned ‘Noooooo.’)

We are not both going to be with you.”

He finally got the message so left to wait for a tram home with his friend! When the tram still hadn’t arrived and we were waiting at the lights he said to me “You can have me til the tram arrives.”

Oh my goodness.

I’m glad I didn’t think I was going to find my dream man at this event. Back to online dating it is! It appears that guys think they can have multiple women in real life too though.